I

Egypt - Mubarak ho !

2011-02-14T00:51:00.001+05:30

So, finally Egypt is free from its 23 years of dictatorship of Hosni Mubarak.

I envied people who lived in the era of Indian Independence. They say "Uski baat hee kuch alag thi. Mahaul hee alag tha". So, I always wanted to witness a freedom. Tunisia's independence was like a bubble bursting or I could not follow it. When South Africa got free, I was too young to appreciate freedom or democracy. Moreover, the image of free South Africa got hazed by the almost white cricket team. But, its difficult to ignore the turnaround democracy can bring. Another recent example is Bihar where people preferred progress over caste and Nitish Kumar continues as CM.

Its important to realize the power of democracy. Its important to realize that its people who do the turnaround. In Egypt's case, people on the streets got the freedom for their nation with almost peaceful processions. And now the cost they paid in the form of blood looks fruitful. Its awesome to witness the freedom of a country. It would be too early for critics to discuss on how the leaderless country will be able to implement democracy. For some time, just enjoy the freedom. "Mahaul rehne do"

Peace !!

-Jasdeep Mandia

A tribute to J D Salinger

2010-01-30T21:39:00.001+05:30

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.”

That’s what I was thinking. I thought of calling J D Salinger day before yesterday when I finished reading his book, the catcher in the rye, infact his marvelous book. I do feel connected to some of the authors and characters of the books. But this is different. The connection with Holden Caulfield is different. I wanted to talk to Holden, or may be I wanted to just see him once. I wanted to talk to Mr. Salinger to give my admiration for him. Yesterday morning, in the office, I get to hear that the ace writer dies at 91. It was a sad news. I don’t like when great people die. I felt awkward; I did not even finish admiring him. I was thinking that it’s good that such brilliant writers exist and then I get to hear the news.

In the memory of the J D Salinger, writing a bit about the book and putting down some of my favorite excerpts from his book “the catcher is the rye”

The catcher in the rye is first person narration by Holden Caulfield who has been expelled from the school after he flunked in all the subjects except English. It’s a brilliant narration of the world as seen by Holden and world he wants to see or be in. From a confused state of mind to a brilliant mind (or a bigger head) which understands human motives, from a depressing aloof person roaming on the streets of New York to the cheerful person spending time with his sister, from being nothing to being a catcher in the rye; Holden takes you through his journey of ups and downs.

"I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible."

"All morons hate it when you call them a moron."

"I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

"It's no fun to be yellow. Maybe I'm not all yellow. I don't know. I think maybe I'm just partly yellow and partly the type that doesn't give much of a damn if they lose their gloves."

"Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules."
"Yes, sir. I know it is. I know it."
Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right — I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it? Nothing. No game.

The thing is, most of the time when you're coming pretty close to doing it with a girl — a girl that isn't a prostitute or anything, I mean — she keeps telling you to stop. The trouble with me is, I stop. Most guys don't. I can't help it. You never know whether they really want you to stop, or whether they're just scared as hell, or whether they're just telling you to stop so that if you do go through with it, the blame'll be on you, not them. Anyway, I keep stopping.

"She said she had to meet her friends. Kids always have to meet their friends. That kills me"

In the first place, I'm sort of an atheist. I like Jesus and all, but I don't care too much for most of the other stuff in the Bible. Take the Disciples, for instance. They annoy the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth. They were all right after Jesus was dead and all, but while He was alive, they were about as much use to Him as a hole in the head. All they did was keep letting Him down. I like almost anybody in the Bible better than the Disciples. If you want to know the truth, the guy I like best in the Bible, next to Jesus, was that lunatic and all, that lived in the tombs and kept cutting himself with stones. I like him ten times as much as the Disciples, that poor bastard.

A lot of schools were home for vacation already, and there were about a million girls sitting and standing around waiting for their dates to show up. Girls with their legs crossed, girls with their legs not crossed, girls with terrific legs, girls with lousy legs, girls that looked like swell girls, girls that looked like they'd be bitches if you knew them. It was really nice sightseeing, if you know what I mean. In a way, it was sort of depressing, too, because you kept wondering what the hell would happen to all of them. When they got out of school and college, I mean. You figured most of them would probably marry dopey guys. Guys that always talk about how many miles they get to a gallon in their goddam cars. Guys that get sore and childish as hell if you beat them at golf, or even just some stupid game like ping-pong. Guys that are very mean. Guys that never read books. Guys that are very boring

The trouble with girls is, if they like a boy, no matter how big a bastard he is, they'll say he has an inferiority complex, and if they don't like him, no matter how nice a guy he is, or how big an inferiority complex he has, they'll say he's conceited. Even smart girls do it.

These intellectual guys don't like to have an intellectual conversation with you unless they're running the whole thing. They always want you to shut up when they shut up, and go back to your room when they go back to their room.

I 'm not too sure old Phoebe knew what the hell I was talking about. I mean she's only a little child and all. But she was listening, at least. If somebody at least listens, it's not too bad.

"You know that song 'If a body catch a body comin' through the rye'? I'd like — "
"It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!" old Phoebe said. "It's a poem. By Robert Burns."
"I know it's a poem by Robert Burns."
She was right, though. It is "If a body meet a body coming through the rye." I didn't know it then, though.
"I thought it was 'If a body catch a body,'" I said. "Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around — nobody big, I mean — except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff — I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy."

Movie review : Pyaar impossible

2010-01-10T12:43:00.002+05:30

A movie review can be given in a line like ‘it was an okay movie’ or ‘it’s an awesome movie, I think you will also like it’. Sometimes just one word is enough like ‘wow!’, ‘awesome!’, ‘f***’ (for either of two extreme opposite reactions) are enough.

Pyaar impossible is ‘why am I watching this movie?’, ‘why am I still watching this movie?’, ‘why the f*** am I watching this shit movie’, ‘should have left my brain at home’, ‘Prianka can’t do justice to the ticket cost and valuable time with her short-sometimes sexy-sometimes weird-but overall okay office dresses’, ‘there are better things to do if you are dating a girl for the second time (especially if the first one was ‘good and so much fun’ kinda date)’ movie. It’s a ‘no one can enjoy the popcorn, forget about the movie’ movie but some people were enjoying it that too without popcorns, they were giggling and laughing. A girl sitting almost behind me was giggling a lot and I did look at her in amazement. An old uncle sitting two seats next to me got carried away with the emotions (when something bad happened to the hero) and said the shit word almost synchronizing with background score. Who says that you loose the brain-body-senses synchronization when you grow old? Someone once told me that sometimes when old people want to move their hands for medicine or a cup of tea, they end up moving their legs. That explains why you find old people at the corner shop or roaming within 100m radius. It’s the malfunctioning of brain-body-senses synchronization. Poor fellows can’t even tap their feet with the music.

Coming back to the movie, it's 'I can write such story but I will never have the courage to narrate it to the world' movie. One of the reasons why a ‘shit’ movie appeared ‘super shit’, why ‘I can't watch it’ movie turned out to be ‘I wanna bang my head to the walls’ movie is that just a day before I was listening to the songs of The Pink Floyd for hours, was discussing and appreciating the quotes by Robert Davids in his book Shantaram with a friend, again started reading the catcher in the rye. And all of a sudden this disaster movie happened in my life. I was so desperate to go home and feed my brain with something. Read some good stuff. I am feeling better now.

-jasdeep mandia

Poem : Wake up

2009-12-21T21:09:00.003+05:30

Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
Wake up, go to the office and pay the bills
and one day, you won't wake up.

-Jasdeep Mandia

Poem: May God bless the Dog

2009-08-08T17:35:00.005+05:30

Ever wondered why
it's mostly a dog
who is hit by a vehicle
and dies on the road.

May be because he thinks too much
or he takes too much time
to decide -
should he take left or right,
or his decision was wrong or right.
And in that time
a car hits him
and another dog dies
on the road.

Its very rare that
on a road a cat dies.
Because they think only one thing
at one point of time.
And that's how they take the
right decision on time.

Animals like cow or buffalo
who are not intelligent and are slow
don't die very frequently on the road
even if they ignore the horn.
Either they continue with the same pace
or they stand still.
But whatever decision they take,
they just stick to it.
Rest they leave it on their fate,
on man's reflexes and vehicle's breaks.
We have a strange understanding
with them which fails very rarely.
Is it God's craziness or his perfection?
We do have with them some psychic connection.

And the pigs for sure
do not die on the road
who live along the road
but never comes on the road.
They know their territory,
know where they should or should not be.
They listen to their elders
and obey the rules.
Their strength is in their roots
and that's why never eat the forbidden fruit.
Pigs are all pure and in values they believe,
they should have been the Adam and Eve.
Though they eat shit
and live in chasm
but because of their one quality they don't die on road
and blessed with 30 minutes orgasm.

But this poem is not for the ones who lives
but for the ones who dies
that too on the road.
May God bless the dog.
Amen.

-jas mandia

Poem : It’s good to believe in god.

2009-07-20T19:30:00.001+05:30

I wonder how easily
you come out of your guilt
how easily you throw the black heavy blanket
and come out in your white suit.
It’s good to believe in god.

With your heavy steps
you go to him
because you know
he will do everything.
He will free you from your guilt
and you will fly,
once again like an eagle
high in the sky
looking for preys....
and the fellow with big heart
will forgive you
because he loves you
and you love him.
It’s good to believe in god.

-jas mandia

Poem: Mission

2009-05-15T21:13:00.004+05:30

To be happy, I became everything.
To be happy, I had to do nothing.
So late...........
anyway
:)

-jas mandia

Poem: So am I

2009-05-10T02:26:00.000+05:30

Between the tall towers
There is a patch of grass
where I sit,
lie down and relax.

The shape of the lawn defines
The shape of the sky-
small, incomplete, less-free;
So am I.

And because of the lights of the tower
The light of the stars appear-
lost and less bright;
So am I .

-Jas Mandia

Poem : The Sun

2009-03-18T12:01:00.004+05:30

The sun rays at 9 A.M
are so warm
that you can't open your eyes completely
but you can stretch your arms
in the air which is still cool
and soon which will loose its charm.

After that this mother
will turn into a monster
and at the end of the day
it will be a friend going away.
Only to come back...........

So, before it turns
into a monster completely.
I look at the sun
with my eyes not open fully,
blinking frequently
and forehead having lines.

I can wear goggles.
But, I don't. It will not be fun.
Its good to face the sun
like this and feeling the warmth.

-Jas Mandia

Poem : To Medha

2009-03-18T11:27:00.006+05:30

This poem is dedicated to Medha - a mystic-beautiful photographer I met at Prithvi Theater, Mumbai.

Like a flash, you came into my life
Not once, but twice.
For sure, I am the biggest fool
as I did not capture you.
Made no arrangements
so that I can even trace you.
So stupid of me.
Looks like I have lost you.

I remember the time
When I asked you “Are you fine?”
When you were in a bit of turmoil
as you cut your finger with Orbit Chewing-gum’s foil.
And I remember the time,
Again next day, you were standing just in front of me in the line.
And I gave you five as I was so happy to see you.
You talk so sweetly. How can I forget you?
And just when I was about to ask your phone number,
that guy came between us. He is your friend or your brother?
I observed both of you closely and I did understand
that definitely he was not you boyfriend.
I kept staring at you during the Gazal session.
And two people sitting between us - my aversion.
You are so beautiful and there is something mystic about you
And that’s why I am thinking a lot about you.

And when for the last time
I was walking towards you and your friend/brother.
I was relieved to see
the distance between both of you was half a meter.

And when you passed by me
I wanted time to stop.
But, it did not.
I wanted you to stop.
But, you did not.
Why will you?
I wanted to stop you.
But, I did not.
How can I?

And with the heavy steps
I passed by you completely and turned around.
So did you. Only to say good bye
with you hand raised, fluttering fingers and your beautiful smile.

Just hoping that
we “ll meet somewhere
and that’s why have put this poem
on the notice board of Prithvi Theatre.

----------------------------------------

So, I addressed this poem to Medha and put it on the notice board of Prithvi Theater. After 2 hours, I got a call from Theater saying that I can't put my personnel messages on notice board. And then, I came to Delhi. How unfortunate. :(

-Jasdeep Mandia

Poem : Sailor O' Sailor

2009-02-23T11:39:00.000+05:30

He could have sailed
through the entire sea comfortably.
Provided he would have trusted
his boat completely.

Every boat is unique
and there is a way to control it.
A good sailor knows everything about his boat
and trust it before he leaves the shore.

Sailing is fun in calm sea and bright light.
But no one knows when storms comes and strikes.
Strom not from outside but from inside
is dangerous as everything it can blight.

They could have sailed happily in the sea
- which is as big as life itself.
But while sailing his boat – which can carry tones,
he kept on looking for ‘the better ones’.

At the time of turmoil
The boat stared shaking.
So did he.
Only to add to it.

He should have sailed the boat
away from the storms.
Or atleast, he should have firmly held the boat
boat would have never got drown.

In exasperation, he jumped to the boat
floating just next to him.
Which was looking better
since beginning.

Ohh! This boat is shaking even more. He felt fear
as the previous boat is no way near.
He realized that shaking was because of him.
Now should he sail in the same boat or jump out and swim?

-jasdeep mandia

Poem : untitled

2009-02-23T11:36:00.001+05:30

These days Hindu, Muslim, Sikh
Christian and Jain
- look alike
they look the same
Especially in the morning train
from Dadar to Churchgate.
Crowd has no religion
And nobody I love, nobody I hate.

Sometimes they offer me their seat
Sometimes they hit me with their knees
Sometimes they come on the road and declare strike
Certainly, these days they look alike.

May be I don’t have time
to think about anybody’s religion.
In this fast moving life
time is less for me, my own belief and my own religion.
I don’t want any revenge now
all I think is of me & my generation.
Now I have other worries-boss, job, production
House rent, credit card EMI and recession.

-jas

plz suggest some title.

Poem : My Dream Girl

2008-12-29T13:51:00.001+05:30

Oh, my beauty queen,
You were my dream.
My dream! My dream was you
And I was in so much need of you.
I was so lucky
to spend some moments with you.
And then few more.

Aghast!

Now its been a hard and long time
since you are here.
You are getting on my nerves,
Now you are my nightmare.

-Jasdeep Mandia

कविता: रामायण

2008-12-29T12:01:00.005+05:30

कौन गुणी और कौन अवगुणी ?

कौन गलत और कौन सही?

उल्टी हो जाती राम की कहानी,

सुनते अगर रावन की ज़ुबानी।

दीये जलते तब भी ऐसे ही ,

और होती ऐसी ही आतिशबाजी।

हर घर में पूजा होती रावन की,

हल गली में जलते श्री राम जी।

- जसदीप

Poem : An eye for an eye

2008-11-05T14:19:00.004+05:30

An eye for an eye,
a nose for a nose
You "ll get your punishment,
You "ll get your dose.

An arm for an arm,
a leg for a leg.
If its not complete here,
you will pay in hell.

But am i looking for justice,
or for the reasons to satisfy my ego?

-Jas

Experience : Now walking down to office

2008-10-15T11:32:00.002+05:30

So, I finally started walking down to office. It takes me 20 minutes instead of 15 minutes on bike. Am I wasting my time? 5 minutes, it’s hardly matters. Am I tiring myself? No. Am I less pissed off because of the lack of the infrastructure against the taxes paid to the government, or because I missed the green light just by a second, or because its boring to spend time by looking at the down counter timer, or because of 3 traffic light signals within a mere distance of 1 Km, or because most of the people walking on the road never realized that footpath is made for them, or because whole traffic is moving at a speed of Dabba-wala’s two-tire haath-gaadi as there is no space for over taking, or because I have to wear helmet even though the maximum speed possible is 20Kmph, or because PUC issues fake pollution certificates for just 10 bucks extra, or because of the over use of vehicle horns and less use of condoms in India? Yes, I am.

-jas

Poem : Patience

2008-10-15T11:30:00.001+05:30

She tested my patience.
I failed.

-jas

Experience : War

2008-10-15T11:22:00.001+05:30

Even fought a war? Or ever witnessed it? How does it feel between the loud noises of guns and bombs where you can only differentiate which side made that sound - you or them? How does it feel when you are so uncertain about your death? At any moment you can be blown into pieces before you come to know that you don’t exist anymore. But a war inside the head is even worse. A continuous fight between two beings is a real pain, and unfortunately both of them are a part of you only – may be independent or may be overlapping. And in that utter chaos you hear the sounds louder, sharper and more terrifying than any gun or bomb present today. You don’t know which side made that sound and why because you don’t know on which side you are and what you are? And you feel that your head will burst with such a great force that its pieces will spread in whole universe. You are glad that at least now you are thinking big. But nothing will happen to your body except some contortions in the stomach – how interesting. Being in a battlefield is less bad than the battlefield in you. If you die in the battlefield, you might get a medal, you have a reason to fight, you have a reason to die or may be a reason to live and most importantly you know who your enemy is.

-jas

Poem : The imperfect wall

2008-10-13T13:10:00.000+05:30

I was staring at the wall
of my room, continuously.
Thinking how imperfect it looks
if you look closely.

Visible multiple layers of the paints
And from different angles you can see different shades.
Moreover, the wall is not that smooth
and I think it’s a bit tilted towards the room.

And then I found
four black dots on the wall.
The more I saw, more I found
- How ugly is the wall of my room.

I asked my friend to look at the wall
who one fine day came to meet me.
Staring it with a smile and his pleasant mood,
He said “Well, it looks good.”

-jasdeep mandia

Poem : For so many days

2008-10-13T13:04:00.002+05:30

I am strained

for so many days.

I am feeling a pain

for so many days.

Mars is not going great with the Venus

for so many days.

I am carrying some onus

for so many days.

I am not being happy

for so many days.

I am not keeping myself happy

for so many days.

So, I cried

after so many days.

I felt a bit better

after so many days.

-jas

Poem : Fun part of my life

2008-10-06T15:59:00.003+05:30

You always said the same line-
“One day I will leave you”.
You were my life line
And I never believed you.

I remember that evening,
You didn’t say that line.
I thought you were acting funny,
So, I didn’t follow you – this time.

Now, even if we want
You can’t come back to me.
It's a bit funny and a bit sad.
But sweetheart, you should have told me!!

-Jas Mandia

Roti, Kapda, Makaan aur Mobile. Gaadi bhi?

2008-10-06T15:56:00.000+05:30

Gone are those days when Roti, Kapda aur Makaan (food, cloth and shelter) were the only basic necessities. Last ten years has marked significant changes in the life style of an average Indian and even below average Indian. Think of a man who somehow got isolated from this world 10 years from now and suddenly he returns today. For him, suddenly everybody has a mobile phone and a major portion of the society is capable of owning a car and planning to buy one.

Is mobile no more a luxury item? No, now it is a basic necessity. Is car no more a luxury vehicle? Don’t know, let’s see. 10 years back or may be even earlier, car used to be a status symbol which was meant only for the high class. Because of the stiff competition between national and international automobile companies and better banking services; now a middle class Indian is capable enough to buy a car. Story and journey of mobile phones is more successful and has reached greater heights. We have basic mobile sets starting from Rs 800 to web-enabled mobile sets with audio-video playing and capturing facilities which costs up to 40,000 Rs. A mobile set for everyone in the society and that’s why mobile phone shifted from luxury item zone to basic necessity zone. It’s wonderful to see how the mobile and mobile services have connected everybody irrespective of the bank balance. Credit goes to the visionaries.

But the change in the lifestyle is so fast that it’s been difficult for most of the Indians to acknowledge it. Like, soon after the successful launch of Tata’s Nano demo car, my mailbox was full with mails mocking the 1 Lac dream car. Cartoon strips of a man asking for Nano car in exchange for a scooter, a kid preferring Nano car for a toy car, house maid coming by car and much more were flooded on the internet. I saw insecurity in the talks of the people who still think that car belongs to upper middle class. Sorry, my dear friends, it does not. Soon, car will be a basic necessity. We are on the right track and trust me, we are not riding fast. After all, we are incredible and unstoppable Indians.

-Jasdeep Mandia

Poem: I wonder

2008-10-06T15:51:00.001+05:30

I wonder

I love your face
and your curves.
Why are you so beautiful?
- I wonder.

I love your non-stop talks
and the innocence imbibed in it.
Why you talk so sweetly?
- I wonder.

I love the way you dress,
your walk and the way you carry yourself.
Why are you so attractive?
- I wonder.

I love the way you hug me,
and so much you trust me.
Why we feel so close?
- I wonder.

I love your touch.
Like a silk cloth you are.
Why are you so sensuous?
- I wonder.

I love the way you love me
and the way you kiss me.
Why you love me?
- I wonder.

Last year, I wrote these lines for you.
And I am not sure if you have changed.
Why I loved you so much?
- I wonder.

-Jasdeep Mandia

Poem : Mask

2008-06-21T22:56:00.003+05:30

I teach you physics
And you teach me chemistry.
We also discuss some other things
While sitting in that corner of the library.

Its been more than an year
Since we are teaching each other
While maintaining a distance- never getting very near
In that not so lonely corner.

Under the table, where no can see
My feet touch your feet.
Its always starts like this
And then there is rise in the heat.

Skin touching skin,
And then more skin touching more skin,
We head towards something,
Knowing that there will be a limit.

Limits weren’t set either by you,
Or by me.
And like two contented beings,
We thank the limits set by the library.

And suddenly you stand up in a way
That you will never come to the library again.
You always come next day,
And sit on the same place and in the same way.

We say things for the sake of saying
And show that we are listening.
But in our heads, something else is going on,
Wondering- till when this mask will be on.

They are the two different beings
Under the table.
We are two different beings
Above the table.

Together we never laughed,
We exchanged smiles which were fake.
Couple of times we laughed,
And both of us know that it was also fake.

We never looked in each other eyes,
May be because of some fears.
Fear that we might break the dignity
And end our silent commitment to each other.

-Jas Mandia

Poem : untitled

2008-06-21T21:33:00.008+05:30

All I was able to see
Were the legs of her
While sipping my coffee
In that coffee shop near the river.

The legs were bare
Till the knees
I was fixes with the chair
Sipping my sour coffee.

The black silk skirt, she was wearing,
And her crossed legs making it more tempting.
Started a reaction inside my body,
While I was sipping that sour coffee.

The deformed calf muscle of one leg,
Pressed against the other leg’s knee,
And the blood was rushing all inside my body.
Surely, it wasn’t just because of the coffee.

Because of the column,
I couldn’t see her completely.
Anyway, Legs were more than enough
To praise her while sipping my sour coffee.

I could had a full glance
Just half a step – all I should be moving
And might have taken my chance,
Only after finishing my sour coffee.

And for the last time, I looked at those legs,
As she stood up.
I could have talked to her,
But, there was still some coffee left in the cup

And finally she walked towards the dark.
I adore her legs, hips,
And the elegance with which she walks;
While slowly enjoying the last 2 sips.

And with that beauty,
I almost got laid.
And that sour just-warm coffee
- the best I ever had.

I thank the goddess
For that wonderful coffee.
Raising my hand I said,
“Can I have one more please?”

-Jas Mandia

PS- Please suggest me with some titles for this poem.

Poem: An awful way to spend your life

2008-06-06T12:43:00.001+05:30

An awful way of spend your life

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Tuesday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Wednesday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Thursday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Friday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Saturday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Sunday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Believing in any of the above lines, is an awful way to live your life.

-Jasdeep Mandia

Teddy Bear

2008-03-17T13:11:00.005+05:30

I am never far from you, always near;
Whenever you need me, I am always there.
Ohh! My dear, ohh! My dear;
I am your teddy bear.

Whenever you want to cry;
so tightly- you hug me.
You don’t feel any shy;
Because you say we are best buddies.

You say you need me;
I know you need me.
I need you too;
But, I can’t tell you.

You come and share everything;
Whenever you feel high or low,
And even when you feel nothing;
You come, you say, you go.

Sometimes you ignore me;
For some reasons- I don’t know.
Sometimes you throw me;
For some reasons- I don’t know.

I know that I don’t like it;
-feeling ignored and worthless,
Waiting
Waiting

Waiting

Waiting.

-Jasdeep MAndia

Walking all alone

2008-03-17T12:58:00.004+05:30

There is nothing to do, nothing to say;
I am walking on my way.
There is nothing to hide, nothing to show;
I am walking all alone.

There was a time, in some place;
I was running, my life was a race.
The finishing point of one race;
Was the starting point of another race.
I left everything, left the race;
Life is still moving, but without any pace.

It was my passion or my protection;
Somehow I was moving towards perfection.
I earned gold, earned recognition;
And they were my source of satisfaction.
But with my true self I had no interaction,
So, left everything for the independence.

People call me fool, they call me moron;
Strangely, the same people don’t matter anymore.
Nothing to love, nothing to hate;
Gave my life in the hands of fate.
No target, no aim, no shame, no glory;
Ahh! That’s me! That’s me!

Wind is touching my face;
I walk from place to place.
Sometimes I skip dinner, sometimes lunch;
I love this so much.
No place to go, nowhere to reach;
I am just walking and have nothing to preach.

There is nothing to do, nothing to say;
I am walking on my way.
There is nothing to hide, nothing to show;
I am walking all alone.

PS:- Dedicated to a friend of mine.

_jasdeep Mandia

When was the last time you danced in the rain?

2008-02-06T12:33:00.000+05:30

When was the last time you smiled even in pain?
When was the last time you danced in the rain?

When was the last time looked at the sky?
And feeling that it's too blue and is about to cry.
And seeing that it's too red or too bright,
And so feeling very comfortable or feeling very light.

When was the last time you saw a rising sun?
And filling youself with energy and ready for the fun.
And watching the sun going down,
And feeling a peace all around.

When was the last time you stared at the sea?
Where thousand things at the same time you can feel.
Feeling that its ruthless and peaceful at the same time,
And in that mystic place, every line of your poem rhymes.

When was the last time you treated soil as holy?
Holding it tightly in hands and then letting of go slowly-slowly,
And playing in the mud while forgetting about your elegance,
And sprinkling water on dry soil and feeling its fragrance.

When was the last time you enjoyed the chirping of the birds in early morning?
Living for yourself and not trying to make it a story.
And sitting in the soil just beneath the tree,
And feeling that you can fly and you are free.

When was the last time you gave your life a pause?
Doing something without any reason or cause.
Eating something without worrying about health or getting fat,
And doing things just like that.

When was the last time you enjoyed waiting?
And dancing as if no one is watching.
And laughing out loud even when stomach is paining,
And not thinking whether you are losing or gaining.

When was the last time you walked bare footed on the roads?
Playing cricket with friends till 8 O Clock.
Lying down on the streets gazing million stars in the sky,
Appreciating the universe and wondering when, how and why.

When was the last time you gave smile to a stranger or your neighbor?
And smiling from heart and not doing any favor.
And not feeling lonely even when you are alone,
And feeling that this whole world is your home.

When was the last time you smiled in pain?
When was the last time you danced in the rain?

-Jasdeep Mandia

Rang

2008-02-06T12:28:00.000+05:30

Na sirf lal, kaala, safaed ya peela,
Na sirf hara, bhura, gulabi ya neela.
Asankhya rang hai yahan zindagi ke liye,
Kuch pass aur kuch door bikhre pade huye.
Kuch rang toh aise hain jo chupe pade bethe hain,
Ya toh hamse darte hain ya roothe padhe bethe hain.
Chalo dhoondhte hain sabhi rango ko baahar aur ander,
Bhar lete hain sabhi rango ko apni zindagi ke ander.

The old man with the measuring tape

2008-02-06T12:27:00.000+05:30

The old man with the measuring tape,
Is still searching for something.
With full precision, zero tolerance and a hope,
He is measuring everything.

Now he owns the house he always wanted,
After searching for years, now he is satisfied because finally he found it.
But even in his house, he is not happy, he is alone,
He is missing something in his house, he is missing home.

He has lost some pearls and some great moments,
Because he was too busy measuring everything.
Now he is searching for an ounce of pleasure.
He can’t go back. Regret and loneliness – is all he can measure.

-Jasdeep Mandia

Poem: King

2007-12-21T15:02:00.000+05:30

There was a King, who lost that war,
In which he gave his everything, he gave all.
He was great; he never took rest,
In every situation, he put his best.
The war was long,
His position was never too strong.
But, still he was there- fighting all the time,
Thinking that "in the last, glory will me mine".

Everybody warned him,
Advised him to get out of this.
Was that insecurity?
Or was that reality?
He was hopeful; he wanted to give his best,
It was his optimism or his over confidence?
Even he wasn't sure of what will happen,
But he wanted to make things happen than just happen.

He knew that if he falls he would be in great pain,
But he was hopeful that everything would dry up after the rain.
He was confident; he was resilient, so he took risk,
He thought that he would be out of the darkest deepest abyss.
Things changed, so does he,
Why not? He gave his everything.
He became so dependent; he wanted to win,
As if there is nothing else left to live.

Now the greatest king of all,
Has lost, he is on his fall.
He always knew that he might not get glory,
But now it's a different story.
He never thought that this would happen to the Mighty,
"Great King will look for the pity".
He didn't know that he would be in so much of pain,
Seems like there is only rain, rain and rain.

Ohh! I can't believe what I see,
Fallen king is standing on his knees.
He was broken, his every dream was shattered,
Now again he wants to dream, fight and win another battle.
He will be back; he will rise,
He will roar like a lion; he will shine.
Cheers! to him. Is he a human or a spring?
Let me welcome back the mighty King.

Somehow the King heard my every word,
and high in the air he raised his sword.
He forgot about his pain,
And he started fighting again.
Again he gave his everything,
Everything- for the glory and for winning.
He was happy because he knew he will be making history,
He was just one step closer to the victory.

Just when he was about to wear the crown,
an uneasiness inside him, he found.
He started seeing things differently,
now he does not want anything,
no name in the history,
no glory, no victory.
Neither hungry not contented,
he is going home back empty-handed.

-JAsdeep Mandia

Experience: on the way to Jhansi

2007-12-21T14:50:00.000+05:30

I was looking outside from the window in the train. Then it passed from a bridge- a normal bridge, but long enough to make me realize that train is passing from it and just deep enough to give me a feeling that if trains falls down I will die for sure. What will happen if train derails or the bridge breaks? And then I imagined myself dying because of collision of trains moving in opposite direction, each with a speed of 90Km/hour. I felt small, I felt weak. There is always a chance- a probability that I meet an accident or miss it. And this chance is not in my hands. Then there are some more powerful forces- all the natural calamities. A scene of few hundred people dying because of Tsunami flashed in front of my eyes. I wasn't there. But this doesn't make me happy, I felt smaller, weaker.
And then, I realized I am too small and doesn't matter what all I do, I just can't control these things. All I can do is to accept it. It is a fact.And unlike emotions, facts are absolute- they are neither good nor bad, neither right nor wrong. In a way, they are beautiful. And now, I am feeling quite peaceful.

Experience: A Smile

2007-12-21T14:43:00.000+05:30

I was sitting on the back seat of the bike and my friend Pramod was driving. On this semi rushed road an open auto carriage was going just in front of us. There were bundles of magazines in it and a boy about 15 years in age was sitting in the center with an authority as that of a security personnel standing outside a bank. But, he was more free, more excited. He was enjoying the crowd while listening to the music from his mobile phone. I gave him a smile just to start a communication without any words. He returned a bigger smile. Automatically, I gave a smile, so big that I ever gave to any stranger. He gave an even bigger smile to me as if there is some competition between us, competition of who can give a bigger smile, competition of who is happier to see the other. I didn't try to be better, didn't try to show how big a smile I can give. May be because I didn't want to fake it, or may be because I surrendered in front of his big broad smile, or may be because I didn't know how to react? He continued his smile, so did I. I was curious to know the name of the magazine and was trying different angles to read it. Suddenly, he opened up one bundle. He gave a big broad smile and again busied himself opening the bundle. He took out a magazine out of it. That was the moment I started laughing. My guess was right. He was opening it for me. He looked at me. We laughed. And then, he offered me that magazine. We were just smiling and laughing. Pramod took the bike just next to that auto and I accepted his gift as if it is for me only, as if its my birthday and I deserve this gift, as if I am taking a token of friendship and good will in this world, as if I am collecting the proof to justify a conclusion that "smile is the most beautiful thing in this universe".
-Jas Mandia

article: My Favorite Number

2007-12-21T14:39:00.000+05:30

Sometimes people used to ask me "what's your favorite one digit number?". And sometimes it was during quizzes or questionares on the internet and forwarded mails that I have to answer this. And I never had my favorite or my lucky number. And randomly I used to say any number, just any number until I got a feeling that I should not be treating my favorite or lucky numbers like this. They deserve more. Well, I guess its difficult to know about lucky number. I decided to find out my favorite number. At an instance only a list of number came in front of my eyes and within few seconds I accepted and rejected few of them.
2,4 and 5 very simply rejected. They look so normal. 1,3 and 7 very selected. They look like favorite numbers or they carry a charisma and an elegance which favorite numbers supposed to carry. And now I am wondering why 6,8,9 and 0 striked my mind?
I started getting a feeling as if something is not complete, something is missing. My favorite number is a major issue for me and I thought of giving each number a full chance to be my favorite number. I wanted to analyze each number. So, here I go-

'1' number has great charisma and elegance. More than that it is 'one'. Yes. Only one. It could be my favorite number. And it is number one, the first one. It seemed to me as if I am racing for something, as if I have a desire to do things better than anyone else that too in the shortest possible time, as if I have a desire to do my best and come out first, as if this life is a race and everybody is running on the same track for the first position. Naa. This is not me. For me, everybody has its own track to run or walk or crawl or just sit there forever or may be lie down without any fear and tension.

'2' number looks so number 2. Again it reminds me of race with not so good results. And then the thought why would anyone choose this number to be favorite number? Suddenly, '2' number reminded me of couple, it reminded me of union. It is the company; company of two which is always the best because when two people communicate, its their heart which communicates; when two people communicate, it's a spiritual communion, and when two people are together, they are the best. Then I felt the best moments I spent with my loved one- my friends, my family members which touched my heart. The best conversations or sometimes no conversations I ever had with them one-to-one enriched me with the feeling that how nice life has been to me. More than my feelings there is more in number '2' which I feel is one of the most beautiful and wonderful phenomenon in this universe, it's not only the life of the two but also the possibility of creating a new life from them.

'3' number has a charm. Its looks OK. Reminded me of DCH. Well, it's the smallest number of points with which you can draw a closed figure and which is called a triangle. Anyone who loves geometry, loves triangles the most.

'4' number still looks a normal number to me. Well, it's an even number; more even than any other number if you can see numbers in 2D. Its so simple, so plane and that where its beauty lies. Probably we are too old to see the simplicity and beauty of its looks. A 4 year old child can feel and may be explain it better.

'5' number look normal but now I am feeling that it has all the capability of being my favorite number and I don't know why? May be because it does not look that normal, may be because it is unique in its own way, may be because there is something unnatural and powerful image with it. I have started liking it a lot.

'6' number, definitely no. Bilkul bhi nahin. All thanks to hindi slangs. Very strongly I feel that hindi language has not treated this number well. It has taken away all the glory from number '6' which it could have. It looks like a kingdom which could and should have been glorified but wasn't because historians were not a mood to do so. Somehow , they thought that they should be funny sometimes. And now, whole world looks at that kingdom with the sight they gave. What a pity?

'7' number is no doubt the most elegant, most charismatic and most powerful number. Why? Lets find out. Almost every culture, every civilization has treated this number like a king, and so do we. May be because it is so prominent in the world we see and may be more than that it has been recognized by everybody to be prominent. Let it be 7 colors of a rainbow or 7 surs of music, 7 stars in constellation Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. Through out the ages we are talking about it. And then this number got what it deserved or may be more than that – "7 wonders of the world". Knowingly or unknowingly, we accepted this number as the best. And best thing we did to it was to accept it as 'the default favorite number'. Number '7' is like Sharukh Khan in Bollywood, Jesus in Bible, Krishna in Bhagwad Gita, Vishnu in Vishnu Puraan, Brahma in Brahma Puraan and Shiva in Shiva Puraan. "Gloryfied"

'8' number quite a unique number. more even than number '4', if you can see numbers is 3D.

'9' number gives a beautiful ending to these numbers and that's how great in its own way. It completes. It could have been Rubik's (great philosopher and mathematician who invented Rubik's cube) favorite number. He might have loved it more than any one else. And how can we forget people who created Sudoko? It could have been their favorite and most respected number.

'0' number should be given utmost respect for saving mankind from inventing a million numbers for representing a million. Without '0' this world would have been a different world, very complex and very tiring. There is more, beacause of zero only boolean came into existance and then boolean algebra and then computers. Suddenly, I was imagining myself writing on the slate instead of MS Word. I am speechless.

After reading above article again and again, I decided..

And the award goes to……………..
9 is on position 3.
0 is on position 2
2 is on position 1.
So, from now onwards, 2 is my favorite number.
Its funny to see that all of the numbers from 0 to 9 were fighting for being number 1. And so for one instance, thought of number '1' being my favorite number came in my mind.
But, I would like to go for the feeling and which says number '2'.
Surely, it is a beautiful number

Poem: October Two

2007-10-02T15:03:00.000+05:30

People look for the Gandhi inside me,
They want to know how much I resemble him.
They want to know how much I follow him,
Is there any co-relation between date of birth and personalities?
They do this; I know why they do,
Because I was born on October two.

He was a great thinker and a great man,
Everyone respects him, everyone is his fan.
But I have a personality which is unique,
May not be that great. But that me!
I know myself and that’s why putting all the perceptions away,
And that’s how I am great in my own way.
I have nothing more to say, nothing to prove,
Just that “Wish me. Today is my B’Day. Today is October Two”

_Jasdeep MAndia

Poem: Extra nice person

2007-09-30T11:27:00.000+05:30

I have more beauty than any other,
If not external, I believe it’s internal.
And this belief makes me a better person,
Ohh! I am so good. I am an extra nice person.

I am more concerned for you and for any other,
Need not be my close one, lover, father, sister, mother or brother.
I even love my enemy. I love strangers, I love everyone.
I won’t be burnt in hell because I am on way to heaven.
And I hate the hatred, crime, war and gun,
Ohh! I am so good. I am an extra nice person.

I live in a way a man should live,
Always following the sacred text written back some centuries.
I love God, myself, close ones and even my neighbor,
And I judge how one is behaving and what one is saying to the other.
And how everyone behaves, says and acts- makes me bother,
Ohh! I am so good. I am an extra nice person.

Holy text tells me what is the Truth? What is wrong? What is right?
It shows me the way I should live, and explains why I have this life?
And tells me the right path when I can’t analyze and I am confused.
Ahh! Life is so easy now. Don’t remember when my brain was lastly used.
Life is good and I am on my way to heaven,
Ohh! I am so good. I am an extra nice person.

Even I have evil deep desires, like any one else,
But I am not sharing it with anybody, not even with my true self.
Yeah! I look so nice, so beautiful, and so good. I am a believer, a care taker, a lover.
But, I can’t see myself fully naked in front of a mirror.

_JaSdeep Mandia

A for Apple

2007-09-30T11:26:00.000+05:30

coming soon....

Poem: four walls, a ceiling and a floor

2007-09-30T11:14:00.000+05:30

It’s not my place, it’s not my home.
I am living inside four walls, a ceiling and a floor.
It’s a box, no window no door.
I am trapped inside four walls, a ceiling and a floor.

No voice from the world outside the fence.
No hello-hii, no how are u, no sympathy, no assurance.
Even in this pin drop silence, I can’t sleep.
Thousands voices inside my mind making me weep.

No light form the sun, not even from moon.
Darkness, pain and loneliness- all that I choose.
I want darkness. Don't want anybody to come inside.
Don’t want any hope or any ray of light.

It’s where I live, it’s my home.
I am living inside four walls, a ceiling and a floor.
It’s a box, no window no door.
I am trapped inside four walls, a ceiling and a floor.

-Jasdeep Mandia

PS: I always wanted to write this poem. Dedicated to some really fu*ked up person. I had this character in my mind, felt it for 20 minutes, wrote something and then I was back to myself. And the result is this poem.

Poem: Want time to go back

2007-09-30T11:07:00.000+05:30

I don’t know what to do, don’t know what to say.
Wishing that I am not too late.
Want time to go back so that I can mend.
And somehow change the past and the present.

Want to change this moment,
Want to convey what I really meant.
Somehow want to choose other option,
Somehow want to take an appropriate action

Want to see myself in some other situation,
Moving in some other direction.
Want to change my every action and every word,
Just want to see my world, your world and our world.

Want to repair, want to mend,
This time I “ll surely give my 100 percent.
Now I am enlightened, now I can see things,
Ohh TIME! Lets start again from the beginning.

I don’t know what to do, don’t know what to say.
I know that I am too late.
Want time to go back so that I can mend.
And somehow change the past and the present.

-JAsdeep MAndia

Poem: I "ll erase (reloaded)

2007-09-30T10:48:00.000+05:30

This song is dedicated to 'Eraser' (both):

I‘ll walk with you, throughout my life.
Your every fear every pain, now are mine.
Every tear that you wept, I‘ll wash away.
Just look in my eyes, you need not say.

I’ll erase.
That black phase.
All the tears.
Given by dears.
Every bad dream.
Each time you try to sleep.
They won’t be near,
Your every fear.
And I believe, you’ll have new dreams.
Coz I’ll erase, those dark memories.
& once again this page, “ll be clean.
Coz I’ll erase, every dark memory.

I can feel the pain, you going through,
I "ll bring back happiness and smiles to you.
You are my responsibility, I must say,
And from this hell, I "ll take you away.

I’ll erase.
That black phase.
All the tears.
Given by dears.
Every bad dream.
Each time you try to sleep.
They won’t be near,
Your every fear
And I believe, you’ll have new dreams.
Coz I’ll erase, those dark memories.
& once again this page, “ll be clean.
Coz I’ll erase, every dark memory.

-Jasdeep Mandia

PS: 4 months back I wrote this piece for 'eraser'. Till that day, I wanted to write more for the 'eraser', but was not able to write until I found one more 'eraser'. Cheers! to both of you.

Experience: A promise

2007-09-30T10:44:00.000+05:30

I was in 4th class when my teacher took a promise from me. Don't even remember her name but vaguely I remember that I had feelings for her. They were very different feelings and never had it after that. Was it a crush? Don't know but at that time also I knew what a crush means and how it is different from crush on classmates. But this time crush was on a person who is so elder to me. It had respect may be because she was my teacher. A feeling that she cares, cares for me more than anybody else in the classroom. Normally innocent looking studious and introvert boys have this advantage and luckily I had it. It was the time when a 9-year old boy sees beauty of a caring and respectable person of opposite sex and then comes the feelings which is definitely not motherly. The promise she took was not to bring my tennis ball to the school. Why? I don't know. But it was the major source of entertainment for me and my friends. Just put it your pocket and play anytime-anywhere. Now looking back, I can feel how much important it used to be for my group. Someone threw the ball on somebody and she asked whose ball is it? I stood up. She returned it to me and said "you will never bring ball to school". Strongly, she was asking me to promise. I gave promise to the person I respect, to the person to whom I once said that I want to be an Air-force pilot. I was determined to keep up my words. May it was the first time I felt "I" in myself, a respect for myself, an urge to keep my words and the feeling that I have to decide what to do. What difference it made? Someone else was given responsibility to bring ball and everything else remained same except that I was bounded to not to bring ball to the school. I felt proud of myself that for two years, I never thought of bringing ball to the school even though she was no more my teacher and she had left the school when I was in 5th. Her image started fading away but I always remembered the words I said. And then after two years, I started questioning myself, why I should not do it? What's wrong in it? There is no logic in doing what is not right. I wanted to know why she took promise from me and made me bound for no reason. Then, I got an answer. There is no need to follow your words if you don't know what does it means. I knew I was breaking the promise, but I also knew that it’s only an onus on me which I was carrying for no reason and I had to free myself. I got the feeling that it will not affect her even if I break the promise and now I feel that she might not remember it. So, I broke the promise. But, good thing about the whole incident that I kept my words for two years and finally realized that it had no significance.

An Assignment: Back to Childhood.

2007-09-30T10:41:00.000+05:30

I lost the keys of my home and was waiting for my flat-mate to return. Somehow I was killing time and saw a book named "Running from Safety" by my favorite writer "Richard Bach". Those who have not read any of his books except "Jonathan Livingston Seagull", I would like to mention that most of his books have some imaginary characters whom he lives with in his books. Writer's close interaction with them during the course makes them alive and a fiction looks like a biography. I would also strongly recommend you to read "Illusions - The adventures of a reluctant Messiah".

About "Running from Safety": There is a character who knows everything about Richard and lot more, who else it can be? No one; except someone who was living with Richard for last 60 years without showing a sigh of his existence. Suddenly this character appears and reminds him about the promise he made 50 years back to a child Dickie Bach, a child Richard was once. As promised Richard has to tell Dickie what he has learnt in last 50 years. Richard is not interested in giving advices to Dickie as he wants him to be independent and know about life by himself. Helping Dickie from the learning of his life and the lure of knowing about the dreams and fears of Dickie, who he was once, forces Richard to accost Dickie.

Bang! It’s a damn good idea. I stopped reading that book, got out of it. Before his childhood affects mine I decided to go back to my childhood and see what was I like? What were my dreams? What were my fears? And now after living 23 years what I have to offer to my childhood? What I can teach him? What can I learn from him? Have I forgotten something which I should not have?

Why I am putting it down for you people? Just to tell you that I have started writing down about my childhood. And the reader who thinks it is a sane idea to go back and discuss and then penning it down, I would love to share ‘Jolly’- a child I was and ‘Jasdeep Mandia’- a person I am now with ‘blabla’- a child you were and ‘BlaBla’- a person you are only when ‘blabla’ and ‘BlaBla’ are interested in the same.

Poem: Everything is all right

2007-09-30T10:38:00.001+05:30

Sun in the sky is as bright as it was,
Moon is the same and so is every star.
Nothing has changed what's between us,
The same closeness, compassion, care and trust.
Just open your eyes and try to see,
Things are like, they should have been.
Nothing has changed, & it’s still our best time.
Everything is fine. Everything is all right.

We still talk late till night,
We resolve things after we fight.
We still laugh loud like mads,
On funny instances, songs and those adds.

Problems, fears, deep desires we share,
And for each other we care.
Yes, it’s real and it’s true,
I can't think to live without you.

Hey sweetheart, I am missing you,
I love every moment spent with you.
I kept my mouth shut, but now I will say,
I think of you all night all day.

Sun in the sky is as bright as it was,
Moon is the same and so is every star.
Nothing has changed what between us,
The same closeness, compassion, care and trust.
Just open your eyes and try to see,
Things are like, they should have been.
Nothing has changed, & it’s still our best time.
Everything is fine. Everything is all right.

-JAsdeep Mandia

Article: Intensifier

2007-09-30T10:28:00.000+05:30

Intensifier: word which does not adds meaning to the sentence but definitely adds taste to it.
Broadly looking, this world is divided into two worlds or sub-worlds. One which uses bad language uses intensifiers and thinks it’s alright to use it and the second world is the sophisticated world. I believe most of us are the part of these two worlds, at least boys are. Beauty does not lie in any of the world, it lies in living in two worlds and switching whenever needed and appreciating these worlds and realizing that there is not much difference between the two. Everything is fine and everything goes smooth until people from these two worlds communicate and misunderstand each other because the same word has got different meanings in two worlds. Everybody has seen the second world.
Now, let me welcome you to the world where we use language which is considered obnoxious. You won't really feel this world unless I use some of its common words loved by everyone here: BC, MB, fu*k, as*hole bla bla bla..... & this is endless. But that’s enough I guess to show you the glance of it. About the list believe me, it is endless. So many such words and all possible permutations and combinations make it an infinite list growing day by day as if there is no end to it, as if it will go forever and ever. And everyday, new words and so many combinations coming out of the creative minds may be during their zenith or may be when they are in dark abyss or may be, just may be, just like that. Please note that you don't have to cram the list. Just start with any one to enter in this world and knowing the fact that it does not mean anything. Chances are that the first one you pick up may become your favorite one. You might end up making a combination of two or three depending on its reusability, reload time, relevance, penetration in the language.

Now the big question: what these words are doing in a conversation? It may not add meaning to the conversation but its just there to add taste to the conversation. Just to add a flavor. Just to give a support to the conversation. Sometimes, to tell everybody that things are more beautiful that what it sounds without using these words or things are worse than they appear. Sometimes to add humor. Sometimes to praise somebody. Sometimes to foster. Sometimes to show empathy. Sometimes to show anger. Sometimes to show fear. Sometimes to show excitement. Sometimes to fill the silence gaps in the conversation. Sometimes for the sake of using it. Sometimes, because we are having a conversation with the people of this world who might not understand completely if its not used appropriately. And when we are in this world, we use such language because we don't know we are using it, it’s the time when these words become an inseparable part of our language and we have to practice hard enough for switching to the sophisticated world.
How did I enter? 1st year of B.Tech in IIT Roorkee. Few senior caught me along with my friends for ragging. I had to address my friend with some intensifier. I never used such language before. It was difficult for me and I was determined not to spoil myself. Senior said "Chal, mujhe dede gali. Koi bhi, teri marji ki". I said "Gali toh nahin dunga Sir. Kar lo jo karna hai". Some other senior saved me from there and we had some snacks. Thanks to him. One month among friends and I was so comfortable using such language. I realized that it’s just adds to the taste. I met that senior after one month and I said "MC". He asked "gali kyon de raha hai?". I said "Gali toh main dunga hee Sir. Kar lo jo karna hai."
Anyway, my intension to write this was just to show the people of sophisticated world how conversation in this world goes, to give them an understanding that these words doesn't mean anything in this world but still they mean so much for the conversation.

Experience : Mob Mentality

2007-07-19T06:23:00.001+05:30

If I wish to describe mob in one line. That would be : they are the creators, they are the destroyers, they are the doers because next person is the same. Won't be appreciating the mob for getting us independence, and few other things or criticizing them for demolishing or destructing and doing the acts I feel are wrong and irrational. I am writing this to share an experience. Last year, near Deepawali, - the time company is bound to give bonus to employees - the time we are bound to give bonus to the house maid, chaukidaar and even company's bus driver. It was an early morning (doesn't really matter how older I get, 7:00 O Clock in the morning, "ll always be early for me) when everyone in the bus including me was thinking about the collection being done by the helper of my company's bus. I wanted to know how much money I have to give which is the same as everybody else gives. After 10 minutes I had the list in my hands and I was supposed to put my name and money given on it. Ten names were already there and everybody gave 100 Rs each. I knew that 50 people are behind me. I knew I had the chance to break the rule (which everybody was following till now because they didn't had guts to break it). I wanted a proof that people will give less than 100 Rs if given a chance. So, I did it. I took 50 Rs out of my pocket & gave it to the helper & to my surprise it wasn't embarrassing. I ignored the disappointment I saw on the face of the helper because I had a reason for doing it. I wanted to be free and so was I. Person just sitting next to me also gave 50 Rs that too after getting change from me. Wow! It was a great feeling. I gave him independence to do what he wanted to do. Later on, when I got the full list I was happy to see that more than 40% out of 50 commuters gave 50 Rs because they had the an option for it. Rest gave 100 Rs may be because they wanted to or may be because they were shy to ask for 50 Rs change. And for all those altruists who gave 200 Rs, God bless them.

Introspection : 100% honest with somebody:

2007-07-19T05:03:00.000+05:30

Well, I have heard many couples saying that they are 100% honest to their partners. Somehow, I was never able to digest whatever they said and completely believe them. I am not saying that they are lying. They say so because they feel that they are 100% honest. Finally, I found out the reason why I wasn't able to believe that one can be 100% honest to somebody. Its because, no one is 100% honest to itself. I decided to be 100% honest with somebody. First step was to be 100% honest with myself. I always believed that I am honest to myself, but when I closely analyzed the theories, I realized that I believe in some theories because I am comfortable with believing in them. I realized that some of the theories I formulated for myself, some of the reasons I have been giving to myself till now gave me false hopes and comfort. So, I decided to face the truth and thought of critically re-analyzing all the postulates, reasonings and theories, and then to leave whatever is not truth even if I am very much comfortable with it. WTF? Its not that easy. Indeed I realized that I am not that strong enough to face the truth and stop believing in whatever I am comfortable with, and finally stand fully naked in front of mirror just to get the glance of "100% Jasdeep - so pure, so honest". Finally, I came up with an excuse : Afterall, I am human and I was so relieved, so calm, so peaceful, so happy. Anyway, when I wrote that "I realized that I am not that strong enough to....", I meant "I realized that I am 'STILL' not that strong enough to....". Wish me luck.

Theory: Choosing a gf is like choosing shoes.

2007-07-19T05:00:00.000+05:30

1. While choosing shoes, one first looks at his budget and then decide what to buy, similarly while choosing a gf one looks at his "aukat" first and then go for choosing. Both "aukat" and money are quantitative items, and decides ones ability to get a girl and buy shoes respectively.

2. While choosing a gf or shoes, one always adore girls (out of aukat) and shoes (out of budget).

3. No one knows how long its going to last.

4. Looks: it matters alot in both cases. Comfort: Matters more than looks. Every man has the tendency to go for looks rather than comfort although he knows that comfort matters more than looks.

5. New shoes and new gf appears comfortable because one is illusioned by its looks.

6. Sooner or later both gf and shoes will loose its beauty. What's left is comfort.

7. In case one chooses a wrong gf or wrong pair of shoes as there is high probability one will, one has to live with it or wear it until they become comfortable. In this process of making things comfortable for oneself, one has to be patient as no-one knows how much time its going to take.

I was a child when started choosing shoes according to my comfort. Looks matters but its not that difficult to choose for more comfortable shoes when you know comfortness matters more. From last 10 years I am spending money on sleepers as i now i am more comfortable with it. So, if you want a gf compatible to you or you are looking for comfort, start with buying a pair of shoes keeping in mind comfort the priority. And, its okay to increase budget for shoes as they matter alot in our life (i hope u "ll get me what i wanted to say). I believe very strongly that for every guy there is a pair of shoes designed especially for him and a girl especially designed for him. All you have to do is to search that pair of shoes and that girl. All the best.

P.S: When I said "I believe very strongly that for every guy........bla bla bla", I didn't believe in it. I wrote it because I thought this line would give a moral or a conclusion or a hope to you. Reality is : no one knows whether there are shoes or girls especially designed for you only. Still, why not try for comfortable shoes and gf. Rest everything I wrote, I believe. Cheers!

Poem: You, like an angel

2007-07-19T04:45:00.000+05:30

You take be back from abyss, each time I fall down
Back from that darkness, which for years I have known.
You brought back my smile, brought back my happiness,
And now I am feeling; my life is blessed.

You, like an angel. Came in my life & made it beautiful
You, like an angel. Gave me smiles & a reason to live

When I had nothing and everything was lost
You showed me new light, gave me hope,
You showed life is beautiful and has a reason to live.
"you reincarted my life" thts wht I feel

You, like an angel. Came in my life & made it beautiful
You, like an angel. Gave me smiles & a reason to live.

Was left with just one option and pain I choose
By cursing myself, thread of my life was getting loose.
You showed me I can choose anything, and I got to ride
& then I stood again, with you being by my side.

You, like an angel. Came in my life & made it beautiful
You, like an angel. Gave me smiles & a reason to live

Experience: Escalator

2007-06-01T23:34:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I walk upstairs on a down coming escalator in a semi rushed mall. What do I get besides attention from people, a sense of achievement by doing something weird and very few times widened eyes of the security person almost screaming at me "next time you do it, I "ll rip you apart" ? I get a glance of life. So much of efforts and so less results, and the feeling of everything are against me. Anyway, I realized and started thanking for the free things I got till now. I am happy for family and friends which I got free of cost, happy for that red colored double-decker when I was 5 or may be 6, happy for the wrist watch my father gifted me almost 2 weeks after I lost my Mickey Mouse wrist watch and I still can't figure out where has it gone? I am happy for the all the free lunches and dinners I had- invited or uninvited, happy for my body- though in no way it resembles Arnold but its quite fine and its working that too for me, happy for this deadly combo - yes! my mind and my body, happy for the promotion I got and everybody congratulated me with statements I never understood completely but it almost meant that I am a lucky bastard- I know this is not always the case, it was just a co-incident and I am glad that it happened to me. I am happy that I fell in love with a girl who I believe was very much interested in me and even sometimes I got the feeling that I am perfect for her. Anyway, nothing really happened, we never talked and finally I came to know that she was married. Somebody even told me that she is happily married which I never wanted to believe and I am happy for those feelings I got at that time which now look quite weird to me. I must admit now, I still have those feelings. I feel happy every time my good neighbor's dog barks at me, I think he likes me, I am happy for all the black-white-round-oval-beautiful-weird and sometimes half-f*cked up faces looking at me and smiling, I am even happy for two Rupees discount on 75 grams Dettol Soap, all in all- I am happy for this life. This is not the only thing I learn every time I do escalator exercise, there is some thing more which greatly affect my life and that is - appreciating the efforts I made even for those for which I got no results.

P.S: Ladies and gentleman, let me have the pleasure to introduce Mr. Chintan to you. Mr. Chintan is a character I feel is very close to me thou' he is 8 years elder to me. He was the one who had a glance of life while Escalator act, though I was the one who started this weird thing. Chintan only got promoted not me, he fell for a married woman and bla bla; and he was the one wrote the shit you just read. Anyway, I like him alot. Cheers! for Chintan.

-Jasdeep Mandia

an unfinished chapter

2007-05-26T19:32:00.000+05:30

In the story of my journey, story of my life.
In my story of love-hate, and my strife.
In the story of my victory, pain, disaster.
You are an unfinished chapter.

I “ll cherish the moments spent with you,
All the talk & fightings, crazy stuff we do.
Moments captured by me. I am not forgetting.
Tell me what to do with the ending.

I gave you calls, gave you message.
You are ignoring me, no response I get.
Even I am tired of saying over an over.
Just come in front, don’t cover.

Coz of some reason, you are angry at me.
Whatever is between us, you wanna end that thing.
Even I can’t carry the relation anymore.
Just end it with a final note.

I am letting you go, if you want to go.
“I have other things more interesting”- of that I am sure.
Even you know that everything is now gone.
Lets end everything with a final note.

In the story of my journey, story of my life.
In my story of love-hate, and my strife.
In the story of my victory, pain, disaster.
You are an unfinished chapter.

-Jasdeep Mandia

I "ll erase

2007-05-26T19:29:00.000+05:30

This song is dedicated to "Eraser":

I‘ll walk with you, throughout my life.
Your every fear every pain, now are mine.
Every tear that you wept, I‘ll wash away.
Just look in my eyes, you need not say.

I’ll erase.
That black phase.
All the tears.
Given by dears.
Every bad dream.
Each time you try to sleep.
They won’t be near
Your every fear

And I believe, you’ll have new dreams.
Coz I’ll erase, those dark memories.
& once again this page, “ll be clean.
Coz I’ll erase, every dark memory.

-Jasdeep Mandia

meri kuch aur quotes aur generalizations

2007-05-26T19:24:00.000+05:30

*Do I really don't believe in God or some super-natural supreme power is making me think that "I don't believe in God"?

*Doesn’t matter much from what height you fell or with what acceleration you are falling; what matters is with what velocity you hit the ground.

* What you feel about religious fightings is a 4 stage process:
Stage 1: u dislike it;
Stage 2: u hate it;
Stage 3: feel nothing about it;
Stage 4: Wow! It’s so funny.

* If destiny is beautiful, fighting against it becomes more difficult.

* If I fall in love, I “ll fall with a parachute.

* Go ahead. Take your parachute and fall in love. Take my words “It won’t open”.

*Humans have a tendency of breaking a relationship when they need it the least. But unfortunately, at the same time other person needs it the most. Overcoming this tendency gives utmost happiness & peace; and which in turn becomes the reason for making their life a "Life"

*No religion teaches to fight. But, it gives a reason to.

*Now I am feeling very weak, but I am happy,
Coz now I feel, fighting against destiny in not easy.

I "ll be there for you

2007-05-26T16:23:00.000+05:30

May be as a friend, may be as mate;
May be with relation, without a name.
I telling you girl, I promise you girl;
Even if I am there, on another shore.
Always, always; always, always.
I “ll be there for you. -- (3)

I know you are confused, afraid to loose;
A person who is, so close to you.
But there are some doubts; inside my mind;
So give some space, give me some time.
Our relation is good, relation is pure,
One thing for which, I am so sure-
Always, always; always, always.
I “ll be there for you. -- (3)

This is a time, difficult for us;
So confusing; so awkward for us.
But with some efforts and with some time;
I am sure, a solution we “ll find.
Our relation is good, relation is pure;
One thing for which, I am so sure-
Always, always; always, always.
I “ll be there for you. -- (3)

I take some time; to trust people;
I take some time, to make a relation.
But once I trust, a relation is made;
At any cost, I don’t give it away.
Our relation is good, relation is pure;
One thing for which I am so sure-
Always, always; always, always.
I “ll be there for you. -- (3)

- Jasdeep Mandia

I don’t believe

2007-05-26T16:17:00.000+05:30

I am not anti-god. I am still a seeker.

I don’t believe, anymore in you;
You don’t exist, don’t have any proof.
Days gone back, I was like a child;
Believing it to be true, whatever taught.

Now I see, that this world is real;
And your theories of ; love, respect and fear.
I know if I believe in you, my life will become simpler,
But I am a man of reasons, not a pretender.
Even in my life, not everything is in my hand,
“Who gives his everything”- I want to be that man.

They always say, your existence is unquestionable,
But it’s an easier way to answer, what is unanswerable.
I have ten or hundred, or may be thousand questions,
But I am not holding back, until I find the solution.
Ohh! Believe me God; I want to believe in you,
But can not do that, unless I see the proof.

I don’t believe, anymore in you;
You don’t exist, don’t have any proof.
Days gone back, I was like a child;
Believing it to be true, whatever taught.

- Jasdeep Mandia

Gali ka Kutta

2007-05-26T15:36:00.000+05:30

This song is dedicated to all the "Gali ka kuttas" and all the people who may be for a moment feel like being the one.

Zindagi hai kya, ik majboori;
Ismein hai zillat, ismein bhukhmari;
Ye hai sachai, na ki kahani;
Kabhi kabhi milta bhi nahin mujhe paani.
Zindagi mein meri aisa hi hai hota
Kyonki main hoon, main hoon, main hoon ik
Gali ka kutta, gali ka kutta

Ratoon kok main, jag jag kar;
Karta hoon gali ki rakhwali;
Fir bhi main kissi ko na bhata,
Na koi puchkarta, na pehchanta
Zindagi mein meri aisa hi hai hota
Kyonki main hoon, main hoon, main hoon ik
Gali ka kutta, gali ka kutta

Gali ke sab logo ko main pehchanta;
Kabhi na unpe bonka, na hee kaata.
Bikhariyon na gali mein koi aata,
har koi fir bhi mujhe maarta
Zindagi mein meri aisa hi hai hota
Kyonki main hoon, main hoon, main hoon ik
Gali ka kutta, gali ka kutta

Jab deta hai mujhe koi bachi huyi roti,
hilata poonch ko main apni.
Fir bhi bhi mujhe hoo kyon satate,
Isse poonch pe bandhte hoo pathake
Zindagi mein meri aisa hi hai hota
Kyonki main hoon, main hoon, main hoon ik
Gali ka kutta, gali ka kutta

Rehne ka na mera koi thikana;
Dukhi hoke gaata hoon main gaana
Kabhi apno ke ghar mein ghus jaata;
Laat maar maar ke bhagaya jaata.
Zindagi mein meri aisa hi hai hota
Kyonki main hoon, main hoon, main hoon ik
Gali ka kutta, gali ka kutta

Poochta hoon bhagwaan tumse ye sawaal;
Kyon banaya tune mera itna bura haal.
Kaise din guzre, kaise kate ratiya;
Milti bhi nahin ik kutiya
Zindagi mein meri aisa hi hai hota
Kyonki main hoon, main hoon, main hoon ik
Gali ka kutta, gali ka kutta

Par jaanta hoon main ye baat;
Gali ke baahar, na meri koi aukat.
Jaisi bhi hai, gali hai basera.
Yehi duniya, yehi ghar hai mera
Zindagi mein meri aisa hee hai hota
Pehle kehte the mujhe, gali ka pilla
Abb hoon main, gali ka kutta
Gali ka kutta, gali ka kutta

-Jasdeep Mandia

Talk to me

2007-05-26T15:34:00.000+05:30

Distance between us, hundreds of miles,
How will I know that you fine?
How will I know what you going through?
And things which are bothering you?
Or is it me?
So, talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me.

I got the feeling that you are mad at me,
And this feeling making me weak.
I am restless, have no peace,
At least give me, a reason for this.
Why is it me?
Ohhh! Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me.

I made some calls, to know what’s wrong,
“You are ignoring me”- what’s going on?
Please give response, give me a call,
Just hold me, before I fall.
Don’t do this to me.
Please talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me.

I don’t know what I did wrong?
You are angry at me, must have hurt a lot.
But I making sure, won’t do it again,
Can’t stay anymore, with this pain.
Ohh! Please tell me.
Please talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me.

Now I see

2007-05-26T15:26:00.000+05:30

Now I see

Now I see, everything,
so completely, so clearly.
Now I hear, every voice,
from this world- this paradise.
Now I feel, how everybody feels,
“Life is beautiful”- I believe.
Now I say, to this world,
Inspite of pain, this life is worth.
Now I know everything,
Why we die? Why we live?

Thou’ this world has some people,
Break your trust, make you weaker,
Hurt you a lot, make you numb,
& you have a feeling:-you are all alone.
But you don’t’ have to live for them,
“They don’t exist”- that you pretend.
From your mind throw them away,
& you will find a bright new way.

Now I know everything,
Why we die? Why we live?

Short story: a promise to God.

2007-01-18T21:10:00.000+05:30

Once God asked a man to wish for anything he wants. Man asked God “Do you love everybody? And God replied “Yes, my dear son. I love every creature in this universe.” Out of curiosity man asked him, “Do you know everything? Even what’s inside my mind? ”. God said “Yes, I do”. Giving a smile man asked god to give him power to know what everybody is thinking. God smiled and said “ok, my son. I will do the same but promise me that then you won’t start hating humans”. After promising God man asked him whether He has given him the power or not. God said “You have the power now.” Looking for all the answers he ever had in his mind, man gazed towards God. A voice came out of his fainted face “Ohh God, Why did you lie to me?” and the Almighty disappeared.

Respect for all

2007-01-18T21:07:00.000+05:30

Earlier I had no respect for those who don't work. "Parasites" is the word I used for them and I used to wonder why they are living? What difference they make to this world, to society, to their family and even to themselves? Just nothing.
My manager did show me another direction of thinking. And now, somehow I adjusted all the blocks wanted or unwanted in this systems called world.Now, suppose that my great-great grandfather was a totally useless person and did not fulfill his responsibilities towards the family. But fact is: because of him my great grandfather came into this world. It doesn't matter now what was my great-great grandfather's motive behind it, what matters to me is that I exist. My friend asked: what difference your existence makes? Well, I can be answered in steps, what difference does it makes to the universe? I don't know or probably nothing. To this world? Again, don't know. To my family? Yes, it does. To me? Alot. Another question: what difference does a housewife makes by doing some regular job through out her life and forgetting about her personal achievements? Well, she makes a big difference to her family. Just remove her from the life of the child she nurtures and imagine how different kind of person child would become after 20 years?
Respect for All: for women who gave their life for their family without being noticed and even for parasites. Humans are existent not because they are immortal but because they generate generations. Even parasite reproduces and the new life may not be a parasite. Life is great and everybody contributes. Cheer Humans and Humanity.

Thoughts........

2007-01-18T21:04:00.000+05:30

Just putting down some quotes & conclusions I wrote.
--------------------------------
*My calmness isn't optimism; it’s a long wait for fiasco.

*Living a simple & happy life is your decision. All u hav to do is to take sm assumptions. They are:
1) God exists.
2) Whatever happens; happens for good.
3) You are forgiven 4 your wrong deed if you are sorry.
Now decide.

*Sometimes mind is not deceived by its own created illusions.

*God fears competition, that’s why there is only one.

*It’s the sacrifice which makes a super powerful, altruist man a Hero.

*Not all the eggs in a frying pan boil at the same time.

*Not always we share to assuage our pain, sometimes we do tell the next person that he/she means to u.

*Love is a feeling of not regretting for not being your true self.

Other favorites:::

*Great power brings great responsibilities.-Spider-man

*If your life has too many turns, u r moving in a circle.

New Year Blast

2007-01-14T15:08:00.000+05:30

I wasn't expecting this yr celebration to be rocking, but its one of the best new yr i ever had.
thx to ullas who yesterday came to mumbai. though i had to travel for 2hrs in mumbai's rushed trains, it was worth meeting college frnd. i joined the gang of ullas,pc & 7 other(all unknown) & i was at Alibagh beach after 3hrs. thx all unknown guys, tum log mast the.
the best part was white wine on way to beach. i am impressed by wine for the long time it kept me floating. can't believe 1/3 of bottle can do it.then, it wasn't me anymore, i was uncontrollable laughing jasdeep & philosopher jasdeep at the same time. then i starting writing on blank cards which i always keep in my pocket.well, i "ll start listing the sm of the conclusions i came up with..... drink brings out ur greatest fears & greatest desires. .. if a person laughs or cries for no reason, that means he is drunk. ... monu had a bad childhood & that's why he talks like this. ... even came up with 1 paradox "my this yr resolution is not to have any resolution"
reached beach at 11, talked with my parents & sis. why i did it? and ullas -u shd have stoped me. i was speaking very consciously & was aware that i don't want to give them any hint. but they were not understanding wht i was saying thou' i was speaking very fluently, clearly & coherently. still they weren't getting me. now, i am hoping that everything was fine on my side & there was sm network problem. kaash, aisa hi ho. again ullas - u shld have stopped me.
still rmbr, the way himadri was laughing whn i called him. that was a nice chat. more interesting is dadra's cry "plz mujhe sone de......".
then we jumped in water with 2 motives in mind: enjoy karne ke liye aur utarne ke liye taaki aur pee sakke.thx ullas for holding me in water for most of the time we were in there. suna tha ki saagar ke paani mein namak hota hai, par itna zyada hota hai?- ye kal pata chal gaya. i had so much of salty water that i feel that my nxt 10 generations won't be in need of iodine. was singing songs by creed, flight of icarus, like humans do etc.. .1.5 ghante baad nikle wahan se. collected woods & had fire. & then i had best dinner i ever had coz i was very hungry. called my sis at 1:30 to show everything is normal. again heard similar cry like that of dadra's. par 1 baat saamne aayi- there was no problem with network. again ullas- u shld hav stopped me. had a long walk with pc & ullas along the beach. everybody had his stomach full & no one was in mood & capacity of drinking. lekin agar irade buland honn toh koi kaam mushkil nahin hai. i jst had 2, ullas had 1, pratik had none, but there were other players who took the responsibility & gave an outstanding performance. again listing dwn sm of the observations & conclusion..... as the night passes, color of moon changes from white to orange. ... by seeing the reflection of earth on moon during lunar eclipse, it can be inferred that "duniya gol hai". thou' the beach was very clean, but i hated plastic bags lying there and i jotted dwn in my card- everybody shd clean his shit. jotted dwn ullas ki suni huyi kahawat - subah hone se pehle sabse zyada andhera hota hai & witnessed it.
finally we rapped up everything, picked up all plastic bags, bottles. & then smbd said to me- jassi bhai, ye bottles aur bags hamne nahin kissi aur ne fenke hai, isse mat utha, humne poori beach ka theka nahin le rekha. & i agreed.
reached home at 7:30.it was an awesm experience though i lost my Brotherhood- wristwatch(jisse dhoonde mein mujhe aadha din lagga tha) smwr. sorry aurva. "ll search for a new piece of Brotherhood watch.

Poem: Wanna get out of this puzzle

2006-09-23T10:58:00.001+05:30

Wanna get out of this puzzle

World around me revolving,
seems everything deceiving,
tired of being in trouble,
one thing leads to another,
seems like it "ll go forever,
its never going to over,
I am in a state of muddle,
Wanna get out of this puzzle.

Wind is blowing against me,
put me back where I started,
but sometimes I reach till the end,
but it doesn't make any difference,
every pain now I feel,
trying! its hard to breathe,
I am in a state of muddle,
Wanna get out of this puzzle.

I 've seen angel & devil,
& and always believed in free will,
but there is someone who is controlling,
not giving me what I am deserving,
not letting me get out of here,
he is the one who is not being fair,
I am in a state of muddle,
Wanna get out of this puzzle.

I had some desires,
I had a burning fire,
but nothing is in my hand,
everything here is preplanned,
there just one option left,
kill myself & take rest,
I am in a state of muddle,
Wanna get out of this puzzle.

What new world would be like?
I may be flying like a kite,
or may be things get worsen,
a bigger maze I enter,
there is no certainty,
but that's the way I"ll be free,
I am in a state of muddle,
Wanna get out of this puzzle.

Now I am feeling very light,
seeing everything very bright,
I don't feel now any pain,
no blood flowing in any vein,
wind is not against me,
may be I am not feeling,
I think I have solved the riddle,
Now I am out of that puzzle.

I see that world from here,
see my friends, foes and peers,
I see people whom I betrayed,
I came here, alone there they stayed,
there is thunder & lightening,
but still all those are fighting,
I may not have solved the riddle,
may be, I should be in that puzzle.

-jasdeep mandia

jasdeep.mandia@gmail.com

Poem: Why I killed an albatross?

2006-09-23T10:43:00.000+05:30

Wrote a poem "Why I killed an albatross?". It potrays a sailor who is guilty of killing an albatross, but he has reasons for it. Based on the fact - survival is the basic need of every creature & all ethics, morals & religions are based on it. Infact poem came into existance after I resumed eating non-veg after abstaining myself for 4 years.here it goes:

Why I killed an albatross?

Years back, life was beautiful & I was an angel,
"When I laughed last?" I vaguely remember,
Everybody hates me & I don't sail anymore,
regretting all the time why I killed an albatross.

Wondering when it started, but this is what they taught to me & their kin,
once u did this crime, atone throughout your life for this irreparable sin,
They say I "ll be burnt to hell, "ll get no mercy & no second thought,
just one label that I killed an albatross.

I gave them reasons, but they never understood what I meant,
indeed personal & social triangles of ethics need not be congruent,
Yes! I killed it but fighting for survival is never wrong,
and so I refuse to repent for killing an albatross.

that's me! with an explanation!

2006-09-23T10:28:00.000+05:30

I am acerbic, sometimes ridicule myself sometimes others,

either it makes them chuckle or makes them bother,
sometimes feeling they are in the middle, sometimes placed near corner,
but I ain't any arbiter, just being a performer,
above line makes everything legal, that's the explanation I can offer.