Experience: A promise

I was in 4th class when my teacher took a promise from me. Don't even remember her name but vaguely I remember that I had feelings for her. They were very different feelings and never had it after that. Was it a crush? Don't know but at that time also I knew what a crush means and how it is different from crush on classmates. But this time crush was on a person who is so elder to me. It had respect may be because she was my teacher. A feeling that she cares, cares for me more than anybody else in the classroom. Normally innocent looking studious and introvert boys have this advantage and luckily I had it. It was the time when a 9-year old boy sees beauty of a caring and respectable person of opposite sex and then comes the feelings which is definitely not motherly. The promise she took was not to bring my tennis ball to the school. Why? I don't know. But it was the major source of entertainment for me and my friends. Just put it your pocket and play anytime-anywhere. Now looking back, I can feel how much important it used to be for my group. Someone threw the ball on somebody and she asked whose ball is it? I stood up. She returned it to me and said "you will never bring ball to school". Strongly, she was asking me to promise. I gave promise to the person I respect, to the person to whom I once said that I want to be an Air-force pilot. I was determined to keep up my words. May it was the first time I felt "I" in myself, a respect for myself, an urge to keep my words and the feeling that I have to decide what to do. What difference it made? Someone else was given responsibility to bring ball and everything else remained same except that I was bounded to not to bring ball to the school. I felt proud of myself that for two years, I never thought of bringing ball to the school even though she was no more my teacher and she had left the school when I was in 5th. Her image started fading away but I always remembered the words I said. And then after two years, I started questioning myself, why I should not do it? What's wrong in it? There is no logic in doing what is not right. I wanted to know why she took promise from me and made me bound for no reason. Then, I got an answer. There is no need to follow your words if you don't know what does it means. I knew I was breaking the promise, but I also knew that it’s only an onus on me which I was carrying for no reason and I had to free myself. I got the feeling that it will not affect her even if I break the promise and now I feel that she might not remember it. So, I broke the promise. But, good thing about the whole incident that I kept my words for two years and finally realized that it had no significance.